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| You go here ----> www.xanga.com/JTFG
Tis my new xanga page children.
This xanga is SO over.
It's not totally complete, but since my computer is still broken I decided I can do more work on it later.
Oh yeah, happy belated 420. <33 | | |
| So, my hard drive is basicly fried beyond all reason. I'm currently on my dad's computer. I'm not sure when I'll get a new hard drive and be able to get online again, but hopefully it's sometime this week. The shitty part is, I lost EVERYTHING. All my music files, word documents, pictures, favorites, photo shop, etc. I was really upset when I found out because I had tons of stuff on there that meant a lot to me and I won't be able to retrieve ANY of it because I failed to "back up" my system by burning everything on separate disks to store. Just my luck, an't it?
So I'll reply back to comments whenever I get time, to which I'm not sure when that will be...since I can't always get on my dad's computer unless the parent's aren't home and my dad always procrastinates when it comes to fixing up my computer. We'll see.
In the meantime, if I don't get my computer back by the weekend, just call me to hangout... Cell [809-5745]
I'm free Friday...so come kidnap me! | | |
| You know, people live an unfulfilled life, always asking why they are here and what they are supposed to accomplish. I know what I'm here for; I'm here to make people laugh and smile. I think laughter is the key to life. It's a big part of our lives whether we admit it or not. No one can have fun without cracking a smile or having bouts of uncontrolled laughter. It brings people closer and it feels good. Not to mention, burns calories [hehe]. Some people look down on others who seem to make the whole world into a joke; giggling and smiling like idiots. But, no one can be serious all the time? Not anyone who wants to be happy at least. I personally enjoy smiling with all my heart and when I smile, I mean it.
So I've been reading this book called, "Go ask Alice". My friend Jef recommended it to me and ever since I got it [which was yesterday] I haven't been able to pry my eyes from it. In fact, I'm almost about done. It's a dairy about a girl who starts out as any normal 15 year old, then her life gets twisted and turned upside down, left, right, and everything in between from the first time she trips on acid. It's based on a true story and it's a real dairy of a real girl, only some of the names were changed [of course]. I'm basically 3/4's done, if not more, and I can't wait until the end. I miss reading so very much; I used to read all the time, books a week almost it seems. Then I stopped because I'm lazy and don't seem to have, or make, the time to read countless books anymore. I hope I'll get back into it in the summer, they really are amazing. Yes, I'm a little nerdy, fuck you too.
MAP testing the last two days. It's finally over now, but it was to say the least, totally irrelevant. We're forced to take a test to reflect the education level of our school, lame or what? Doesn't even effect our grades in any shape or form, nor does it mean ANYTHING to us except that we can follow directions and answer questions. I heard something about some schools wanting it to count toward graduation, which I think is pretty stupid. The only reason I can think of that they would want to do that is to pin point the kids who don't try on it just so the school can reach a higher level in the scores. Psh, whatever. At least I got out of class.
I'm thinking about making a new xanga site, I'm really tired of this one, and I mean REALLY tired. I'm tired of my AIM sn as well. So if I ever come around to actually making these new sn's, I'll post it another time to inform you all [since I know you just LOVE reading about my life/ramblings].
By the way, if anyone cared to know, I'm doing mighty fine. :DDD | | |
| When I become a famous fashion designer, I'm going to have my models walk the isle with snakes during fashion week. You bishes better be there too, or at least be watching me on TV. ;D
I was just sitting here thinking, if I really do move to Chicago after I graduate, or possibly a half-full year later, I'm going to miss the shit out of all of you. Lee's Summit's all I've ever known, or at least, for the last 10 [almost 11] years of my life...It'll be so scary...I'll be starting off fresh, a new page. Which, I must confess I've wanted to do for years now. But thinking about how close it really is to reality, really frightens me. I have trust issues, more then a lot of you would figure. Most of you whom I've met, I did so threw friends and so, this insured that the trust was easier to gain...but when I go there, I won't know anyone. I'll be a stranger among thieves. A diamond in the ruff. Naive to the city life in which my heart has assuaged for, for so very long. I would say that I'd come visit, and I most defiantly would...I mean my family lives here. But, I can't guarantee you all will still reside here. It's selfish of me to think that after I move off to start a new life that you all will be here waiting for me to return. The fact that my adulthood is simply a year or two away; my freedom from this prison of a house, a state...it's overwhelming. I'm guessing you all have plans after high school. Plans that might or might not involve MO. My security blanket will shed away soon, leaving me naked and vulnerable for everyone's eyes to gaze upon. Who will I turn to? Am I being too paranoid...too clingy...too childish? Possibly, and maybe I'm just making these excuses because I really don't want to move on and I'm simply telling myself that I'm moving to Chicago, only to figure out in that time that I won't because I have too much to lose. In reality, I have all the more to gain. My dream...my success. I don't mean to act arrogant, but I only say I'm going to be famous so I will believe it enough to overcome my insecurities and become a woman who people look up to, a woman who inspires and brings meaning to people's live. Someone that makes something of her life. Someone who blossoms from a withered flower or ugly duckling; in which everyone knew, would fail in life; to something beautiful, magnificent, and simply put...AMAZING. I want to wrap the world in my hands and drink it with sinful lust. I will conquer. But I want you all beside me when it happens. I want my loved ones to cherish and share my wealth; not in terms of money, but in happiness. I'll never forget anyone I've ever known here [try not to anyway ;D], so you damn well better not forget me.
Yours truly,
..:::Jaya the Fucking Great:::..
[Late night ramble] | | |
| So my spring break was alright. I imagined it a lot better, granted I did have a fun time, but it could have been much 'funer'. Aha. Although, the weather didn't help at all. *Grumbles*
On a good note, only 8 weeks of school left. Usually, it seems to me like Jan-May takes FOREVER, but recently, it's whipped by mighty fast. I'm just hoping that when summer finally comes around, things will slow down a bit. I'll have so much time to spend with friends, especially those that I've been trying desperately to re-cap relationships with. Not to mention the sleeping in part. I love sleep with a deep passion. Then, my BIRTHDAY in August...although that's a tad bit out of our time line for now -- 5 months, but still, I'll be 17! I think the only exciting birthdays are 13,16,18, and 21. At 13 you're finally a teenager! At 16 you get to drive, 18 you are legal [sex, strip bars, cigarettes, moving out, ect], and of course at 21 you can legally BUY AND DRINK ALCOHOL! I wish I could just stop aging at 21, that would be perfect. ;D
I'm in dire need of a J.O.B. I know I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it until I get one. It's just really hard; especially since I don't have a car and what not. Not too many choices within walking distance from me. If anyone could give me a hand on this one, I'd highly appreciate it. Maybe a ride or two as well? I'd pay. I just really need to get myself going for this summer; I plan on working as much as I can possibly handle [without combusting]. Now, this won't take too much time away from my friends, but it's not as if I can hang out with them everyday anyhow. It'll give me something to do besides sitting on my ass and getting fat. Besides, I really need the money to save up for a car and support my 'bad habits'.
So, wow, look at all that. Those of you who find it amusing to read my xanga will enjoy all that drivel up there. Have fun. <3
G'day kids. | | |
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